Tuesday, October 26, 2010

my Dad

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Monday, October 25, 2010

Fall Leaves, Football, Pumpkins & Me

I wrote this about a month ago but I just wasn't ready to share it with the world then. I am now. Tomorrow will be a hard day for me and my family but not nearly as hard as last year nor the year before. More fun and pictures to come soon. I love you all!

This is a time of year that brings with it cooler weather, fall leaves, FOOTBALL, pumpkins and maybe a sense of ease to many. I get that feeling too in the fall. Fall is one of my favorite times of year with Spring being my favorite. However, I find this year that with fall brings a subconscious feeling of let down or maybe just a little melancholy. A long while back I told you guys that this blog was a kind of therapy for me. It truly is. Whether for good light-hearted fun, cherished memories or more serious issues, I find myself satisfied by sharing these with you and self-reflecting on my life. I know most of you are aware my dad passed away almost 2 years ago in October. I really didn’t expect the unexplained emotions that have hit me lately as it’s been long enough that the horrible pain has subsided but then I kinda figured these recent feelings out. I realized I was testy or sad or just plain weepy b/c my own mind/spirit knows me better than I do. Isn’t that crazy how the time of year and the slight changes in season have that great of an affect on me?! I miss my dad daily. I still wish I could see him again or talk to him. I hurt for my girls not growing up with him in their lives. BUT this isn’t a sad, make you cry and feel sorry for me kinda post. It’s really not. I just need an outlet to express how I feel. I feel like sharing with you not only helps me but helps my family (b/c they are the ones who have to deal with me) and maybe if just one of you can relate or take one tiny thing away from this, then God has worked through me to help you too.
I’ve had lots on my mind lately. LOTS! It's not totally centered around my dad so much but just life and all its complexities. I’m amazed at how things can be rockin’-n-rollin’ along and then things shift and that silly old dark cloud comes along and tries to settle over my house and my friends & family. Well Alex & I have made the decision not to focus on those things and put our faith and hope in greater things. When we do that, we cope better with what Satan throws at us and we can live in a more peace-filled and joy-filled life.
I choose not to feel sorry for myself for self pity is for the weak in spirit. And honestly self-pity may be needed at times or even unavoidable but I see it as a sign of losing faith. Faith that has led me through my darkest days and places. Faith in a God that is so much greater than I could ever begin to imagine. So, maybe this post may ramble and it may not even make a lick of sense to you but it does to me and when I look back at it I hope it refreshes me. I hope it helps me cope on those harder days. I hope it helps me see the blessings God has given me.
I want to challenge myself to see the good in all things. I want to challenge myself to praise the God that designed this world and allowed us to love and worship Him. I want to focus my heart on Him and where he leads me and my family. I do feel His presence and peace about me always and so, with this change of Seasons, I challenge you to admire the fall leaves, pumpkins, cooler weather and all it brings with a deep breath of God’s peace and Joy.

"Whatever, Whenever, Wherever, I want to serve God" – that’s a direct quote from someone very near and dear!

Love to all.

Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Psalm 66:1

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Hi There

Hi guys. I haven't forgotten you. I've just been busy and had lots on my mind. Maybe I'll share some of it with you soon! Love to all.
I'll get back to bloggin real soon. I promise.